i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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