Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
