worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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