So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
and she was petting her beer can
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize