I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
