New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize