I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
