I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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