it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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