YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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