What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
