i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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