That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
