You can't special order awesome
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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