Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
