i think my tv is drunk
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
