It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
