We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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