the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
