He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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