He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
