Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
