Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
How does it feel to date your dad?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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