I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
