My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
