My nipple is on Facebook.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
