oh god the rape fog is back!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
