Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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