Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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