that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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