Screwed.edu
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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