We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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