I am puke
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
