So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
