i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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