Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
