So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
