what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
