He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize