This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
