she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
