He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
