If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
