I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
