He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
