she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
