what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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