I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
is it fun? or sober?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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