so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
it's like iHOP with fire
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
