yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
