So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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