So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
