Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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