Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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