Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
