So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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