i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I can't put those talents on a resume
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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