i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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