He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If its not for food we ain't going out.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize