they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
