No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
