Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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