i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Someone signed my nipple.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize